Have a good day

As anyone who knows us is aware, Jackson is the morning trooper of our household. I do what I can to help the night before, but he does the hard part.  So he's asked for help.  Very specific help.  Clothes - we're talking down to the undergarments, socks, shoes, accessories - laid out on the dresser so there is no mistaking what each child is to wear.  He doesn't want to have to make decisions; he just wants to get them dressed.  Backpacks are to be packed & hanging on the staircase each morning.

Sometimes I fall short of my duties.  And he's the first to tell me, in a mighty comical manner I might add. 

I go through my mental checklist as I exit the house at 6:39. Yep, I think I completed my duties.  Rip off my Indy 500 jacket as I speed walk through the parking garage to work.  Miss a call as I'm entering the elevator at 7:03. Four texts, each a fragment, but combined form a complete sentence:

"Did you leave diaoersr...diaper s...out of car...?" 

Oh  no. The answer is no...I forgot to unload my emergency diapers from the car. Bryson ran out of diapers yesterday, so he's been borrowing his sister's pink pull ups until the bulk delivery arrives at 10 a.m. today. No father wants a son to go anywhere in pink pull ups.  I feel frustration through the phone as I sheepishly type my response.  Nine minutes later my desk phone rings.

"What's this? Brooklyn has 2 skirts on the dresser. Which one does she wear?"  "I wondered which one you thought looked better. Today's picture day." "I don't know - you tell me!"  "Okay, the light denim." "Ok. Bye." 

90 seconds later. "There are 2 pair of shoes. Which shoes?" "There aren't 2 pair. I only laid out black shoes." "No, there are pink shoes, too." "Oh, the pink shoes that have been on the other end of the dresser for 2 months now? The ones that are 2 sizes too big for her? Well, clearly I didn't put those there." "Well, they match the outfit! I didn't know. Okay, bye."

Three minutes pass. "Is she supposed to wear these necklaces?" "Necklaces? The string necklace that Ella made for her?" "Yeah." "It's string, Jackson! No, she's not wearing a string necklace for her school pictures!" "Okay, fine."

It's not over yet. No.  Another call. "What about socks?" "She's wearing tights." "So, doesn't she need socks?" "No!" "But the tights don't cover her feet." "They don't? Where do they stop?" "At her feet." "So they do cover her feet?" "Well, yeah, I guess, but doesn't she need socks, too?" "No! No socks. Just tights & shoes." "Okay, fine. I'm not a woman. I don't know these things. All I'm asking for is a little help in the mornings. Please lay everything out for me so I don't have to make decisions." "That is my interpretation of help, Jackson! Her outfit was laid out - from head to toe!" "Okay, whatever. Have a good day - I hope you don't help anyone the way you helped me today."

I hang up the phone, all the meanwhile cracking up at the image of the circus that he's ringmaster of this morning.  He is so good at turning what could be a very frustrating situation into a funny one.  "Hope you don't help anyone the way you helped me today!"  Bwahahahahaha!  Love you.

This is it

I park near a car at work with a license plate that reads "THIS IS IT".  It triggers thoughts nearly every time I pass by. 

This. Is. It. 

Most days it makes me think, 'live life to it's fullest! What a great day to be alive!'  Other days I think 'this is it? Really, this is it? I'm in such a rut.'  I need to get out and travel!  Use a day of vacation to go to the spa, lunch & a movie with my husband! Donate my time, not just money, to a good cause.

A manager that I work with suddenly lost her husband this week. I've always quietly admired this woman's vivacious attitude and love for life. Though I don't know her well personally, I do know that she holds her family very near to her heart. Nothing seems to come second to them. A husband, 12-year old son, and a daughter my age. They just welcomed a new baby boy to the family a couple months ago. Monday night she kissed her husband goodnight for the last time. He was 44 years old.

THIS. IS. IT.

In an idealistic world, I would contribute my time today to a good cause and assist someone in need.  A child in a troubled home, perhaps.  Or a mother experiencing such grief and depressoin that she's unable to care for her baby. An innocent family facing homelessness and hunger.  The list is endless.  The world is full of opportunities to make a difference.  But idealistic dreams aren't reality.  I work full time. I have two very young kids and a husband at home that steal my sleep and keep me busy beyond words.  They need me.  I work to provide for us and to make this life easier and more enjoyable.  I work now to inspire my kids to do the same.  To be doers.  I work now in hopes that I don't have to work forever.  In hopes that early retirement will be an option so that I can really enjoy freedom...later.  But what if "later" isn't in the cards for me?  It's so easy to get in a rut.  But it's not safe to assume that we'll see retirement.  This. Is It.  These are my new simple promises to myself and my family.

I will work hard at work. But I will leave work on time and join you with a smile. I will hug you and kiss you and be there for you every chance that I get. I will strive to live 'in the moment' and enjoy our time together. Be it at a dinner table with fussy children and cold food, or going down a slide with my daughter at a park, or watching Bryson learn to dance to music. I will pray for the Lord to watch over you every moment of every day. If I die tonight, I want you to remember my smile and know that you were the reason behind it.  I want you to know how much you were loved by me.  And how much you continue to be loved by God.  My life will end one day.  But God's love is eternal.  It is my job to teach my children this.

My prayers this week have included my co-worker and her family. I pray that she feels God's presence in the absence of her husband. If you are reading this, please add her to your prayer.