Have a good day

As anyone who knows us is aware, Jackson is the morning trooper of our household. I do what I can to help the night before, but he does the hard part.  So he's asked for help.  Very specific help.  Clothes - we're talking down to the undergarments, socks, shoes, accessories - laid out on the dresser so there is no mistaking what each child is to wear.  He doesn't want to have to make decisions; he just wants to get them dressed.  Backpacks are to be packed & hanging on the staircase each morning.

Sometimes I fall short of my duties.  And he's the first to tell me, in a mighty comical manner I might add. 

I go through my mental checklist as I exit the house at 6:39. Yep, I think I completed my duties.  Rip off my Indy 500 jacket as I speed walk through the parking garage to work.  Miss a call as I'm entering the elevator at 7:03. Four texts, each a fragment, but combined form a complete sentence:

"Did you leave diaoersr...diaper s...out of car...?" 

Oh  no. The answer is no...I forgot to unload my emergency diapers from the car. Bryson ran out of diapers yesterday, so he's been borrowing his sister's pink pull ups until the bulk delivery arrives at 10 a.m. today. No father wants a son to go anywhere in pink pull ups.  I feel frustration through the phone as I sheepishly type my response.  Nine minutes later my desk phone rings.

"What's this? Brooklyn has 2 skirts on the dresser. Which one does she wear?"  "I wondered which one you thought looked better. Today's picture day." "I don't know - you tell me!"  "Okay, the light denim." "Ok. Bye." 

90 seconds later. "There are 2 pair of shoes. Which shoes?" "There aren't 2 pair. I only laid out black shoes." "No, there are pink shoes, too." "Oh, the pink shoes that have been on the other end of the dresser for 2 months now? The ones that are 2 sizes too big for her? Well, clearly I didn't put those there." "Well, they match the outfit! I didn't know. Okay, bye."

Three minutes pass. "Is she supposed to wear these necklaces?" "Necklaces? The string necklace that Ella made for her?" "Yeah." "It's string, Jackson! No, she's not wearing a string necklace for her school pictures!" "Okay, fine."

It's not over yet. No.  Another call. "What about socks?" "She's wearing tights." "So, doesn't she need socks?" "No!" "But the tights don't cover her feet." "They don't? Where do they stop?" "At her feet." "So they do cover her feet?" "Well, yeah, I guess, but doesn't she need socks, too?" "No! No socks. Just tights & shoes." "Okay, fine. I'm not a woman. I don't know these things. All I'm asking for is a little help in the mornings. Please lay everything out for me so I don't have to make decisions." "That is my interpretation of help, Jackson! Her outfit was laid out - from head to toe!" "Okay, whatever. Have a good day - I hope you don't help anyone the way you helped me today."

I hang up the phone, all the meanwhile cracking up at the image of the circus that he's ringmaster of this morning.  He is so good at turning what could be a very frustrating situation into a funny one.  "Hope you don't help anyone the way you helped me today!"  Bwahahahahaha!  Love you.