Brave?

Maybe I haven't left work on time every day, but I can honestly report that I am making it a regular habit to hit pause every day.  I take a step back and really absorb the moment that I'm living, at that very second.  Wow, what a difference it has made!  I find myself really living in the moment instead of in Auto Pilot mode more often than not.  It's so simple to do, and something I think I used to do until our lives became so chaotic...now I have to think to do it!  Or is it an age thing...?

Jackson coaches baseball once a week, so it's just me & the kiddos those nights. We normally head straight home from work/school, and we'll either play at  home or go to the neighborhood playground before dinner & bathtime.  I recently chose to use the pause button just after picking the kids up from school.  This caused a moment of irrational thinking.  Rainy day; can't go out and play; let's go to Chik-Fil-A!  As we arrived, I noticed a birthday party was going on, so I adjusted our plans - no inside play; just order food & go home to play. I place our order in the drive-thru.  That's when she spotted it. "PLAYGROUND, MOMMY! I SEE A PLAYGROUND!" Okay, okay...let's eat in the car & then go in and play. 'I can do this!', I tell myself.

Three bites into my sandwich & 2 grilled nuggets later for her, "I need to go potty." Are you sure? Can you wait? "No, potty right now, Mommy!"  (I wonder why I was ever excited about potty training.)  Leaving my food in the car for later, I rush to unload both kids, diaper bag, and Brooklyn's food. It's a pretty short window of opportunity with a toddler in training.  With Bryson on my left hip the whole time, we survive the potty break and find a table for her to finish eating. Balloon interrupts her already interrupted meal, presenting Brooklyn with a ladybug (which she calls a bumble bee). This causes Bryson to fall into a magnetic force field, being drawn across the table to attempt to steal the red spotted balloon from his sister's wrist.  Diversion: let's go to the playground...now!  We load up. Relocate. Finally. I enjoy sitting still. Maybe my sweat will begin to dry off and my aching feet will feel relief.  Bryson's all over the place playing with the maze on the wall. Brooklyn's climbing up the slide for the second time. Peace!  And then I hear it again, "Mommy, I need to go potty."  "Are you sure?" "Yes, right now!"  And the story continues...

In 45 mintues, we had 12 bites of food between the 3 of us, 3 potty breaks, a diaper change, 7 mins of play time, 9 mins of trying to find the courage to give the cow a high five, and a restaraunt full of people wondering: "Is it bravery or insanity that brought this woman here alone with these two?"

Whatever it was, we get loaded back into the car, turn up some beats and head back to my comfort zone as Brooklyn nods her head to the beat (this makes Jax very proud) and Bryson watches his sister's every move.